10 things less complicated than Audi’s new naming system

10 things less complicated than Audi’s new naming system

As if Audi didn’t already make understanding its range complicated enough, they’ve just announced a new naming system — which we’re pretty certain will need a master’s degree.

So how it works — at least, how we think it works — is after the usual model designation, a number between 30 and 70 will appear, rather than the old way of having the engine size.

The numbers are scaled based on power, with higher numbers indicating a larger output. Simple in concept, but in execution, consider us totally lost. So lost, in fact, we came up with ten things less complicated to understand than Audi’s new naming system.

1. Solving a Rubik’s cube

A Rubik’s cube apparently has 43,252,003,274,489,856,000 possible combinations, only one of which “solves” it. Still, more likely than anyone understanding the difference between an Audi A3 30 TFSI and an Audi A3 35 TDI.

2. The offside rule

Ok so football fans won’t struggle at all with this one, but try explaining why the ball can’t be passed to someone behind the opposing defenders to someone with zero concept of how the sport works. Still, present them with an Audi suffix, and they’ll soon contend Gary Lineker for lead hosting on Match of The Day.

3. Understanding why Ford haven’t made a Fiesta RS

The Focus RS is a sensational car, the Fiesta ST is a sensational car. Why have Ford not combined the two to make a sensational car? Maybe Audi know.

4. Jar-Jar Binks’ creation

Perhaps Audi were behind the existence of the worst character to grace Star Wars because let’s be real, who else could explain it?

5. GCSE maths questions

Why was Jerome buying 13 apples and 23 oranges? Audi knows.

6. Ronspeak

Ron Dennis, a man who once said “we will develop science to take away uncertainty to make winning a certainty” probably couldn’t explain a Q2 40.

7. Defusing a bomb

Wait, you actually understand the naming system? Your local bomb disposal force could probably use your expertise.

8. How this lorry avoided EVERYTHING

How that lorry hit nothing here, we can’t explain. But it still makes more sense than changing a perfectly fine engine-size naming convention.

9. Quantum theory

Quantum theory is the ‘theoretical basis of modern physics that explains the nature and behaviour of matter and energy on the atomic and subatomic level’. We’re sure it takes fewer textbooks to understand.

10. BMW’s naming, wait, no…

Ok we’ll give Audi one thing. It didn’t make the Z4 sDrive 35i…

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